Hypothalamic Amenorrhea – ‘Why is my period missing?’
Hypothalamic Amenorrhea is something that affects a lot of women. But it’s not talked about very often.
HA often affects women who under-eat, or over-exercise. In this article, Michelle McCarthy of Food Freedom Coaching shares her experience of Hypothalamic Amenorrhea, in the hopes that it might help someone else who is going through something similar to what she did..
SEEING RED (OR NOT)
This time last year, I vowed to recover from my eating disorder. To remove the rules that I had imposed on myself around my eating and exercise habits. I was no longer cold all the time, was able to enjoy social occasions with friends and had become less rigid in my routines. But still something was missing.
My period.
I had heard of people losing their periods due to over-exercising or under-eating but having been on the pill for most of that time in my life, I was shielded from the damage I was doing to myself. And to be honest, I also thought it slightly convenient to not have a period. At the time, my withdraw bleeds were very light and I would take pill packets back-to-back occasionally. I didn’t really understand the negative side effects it could be having on my bones. But even after 8 months of being off the pill nothing was happening.
GETTING HELP – WHERE TO TURN?
I consulted my doctor who ran blood tests, which suggested my hormone levels were normal. Normal for someone early on in their cycle but never peaking. She suggested I reduce my stress levels and speak to a therapist.
That made it sound so simple.
I also started to read up about girls who had gone through a similar experience to me and had managed to resume their cycles. They talked about something called Hypothalamic Amenorrhea or HA, a missing period for over 3 months, and suggested going ‘All in’. that involved cutting out all forms of high-intensity exercise, eating a minimum of 2500 calories a day and eating whenever and whatever your body craved. The term had been coined by Dr Nicola Rinaldi in her book ‘No period, now what?’ and the approach had now been used by thousands of women to regain their periods.
After reading the book from cover to cover, I realised how much damage I was doing to myself. That if I continued the way I was going, running, or exercising every morning without eating beforehand, and then waiting a few hours to eat breakfast, I would likely develop osteopenia – if I hadn’t already. That could mean I could end up in a wheelchair, unable to walk very far, let alone run. So, I decided to go ‘All in’. Completely cut out exercise and eat whenever and whatever I wanted – even when that meant getting up at 3am for a snack. The way I saw it, the more ‘in’ I was, the sooner my cycle would resume and the sooner I could go back to running and moving so I could lose some of the weight I had gained.
STILL NO PERIOD – NOT QUITE AS SIMPLE AS I’D THOUGHT
6 weeks ticked by. 6 weeks of near daily cramps, headaches, bizarre bowel movements, aches, pains and fatigue.
Still nothing.
I was sure it was coming. Every time I went to the toilet, I prayed I would see red. But nothing came. My mood was swinging like a pendulum. The highs from the realisation that I could live a life not consumed by when I would exercise or eat. Then dipping into severe despair at how my body was changing, the weight pilling on, my clothes not fitting. Every time I caught myself in a shop window, or in the mirror, I hoped it would change but there I was. Still the same person, a few pounds heavier each day.
Journaling and meditation helped slightly but no amount of it could help me make peace with my body. I began to realise that although I had removed the stress exercise was having on my body, my stress around how I looked had replaced it. If I was really going to get better, I would have to learn to not let how I looked affect how I saw myself so much.
This would need to be a lifestyle change, not a quick fix.
After weeks of not hearing from the NHS appointed therapist, I signed up for therapy privately, with a lady, who specialised in body image and eating disorder recovery.
14 CYCLES POST HYPOTHALAMIC AMENORRHEA – WHERE AM I NOW?
It took a long time and a lot of work, but eventually my period returned. I simultaneously felt both like a teenager, getting her period for the first time, and a woman again. I had to rush out and buy pads because I just wasn’t prepared. Texting my family and skipping out to my partner to tell him the great news.
The joy of getting a period didn’t last too long though, because it was like going through puberty all over again. I started to sweat after not really sweating for years. I felt exhausted, even though I was doing virtually nothing. I would have horrific mood swings running up to my period. I found myself dreading those few days before it. All normal for someone who was recovering from Hypothalamic Amenorrhea apparently.
As women our relationships with our periods changes a lot over time, but after losing mine I will be forever grateful for the fact that I was able to get mine back.
NO GOING BACK NOW
Unfortunately, I did develop Osteopenia, something I will have to live with potentially for the rest of my life. But it is a constant reminder to me to treat my body with love and respect. I start the morning stretching out my back to avoid too much pain. I take vitamin D and calcium tablets and feed myself from a place of love. I now move my body from a place of celebration and joy, not punishment (something I never thought possible). Having a healthy period isn’t just important if you want to have children. It is essential for good bones, hair and nails. A missing period (due to Hypothalamic Amenorrhea or any other reason) is a sign that something is wrong so if you don’t have one or you are worried you wouldn’t if you came off the pill, then speak to your doctor and have a read of ‘‘No Period, now what’.
